When Analytics Scream Louder Than Coaches

That +15.3 net rating in 13 minutes isn’t just good - it’s ‘bench her and I riot’ territory. Coach Chris treating Yueru like a human victory cigar while the small-ball circus gave me secondhand embarrassment.

Defensive GPS Activated 23% more court coverage than average centers? More like turning the paint into her personal No-Fly Zone. Those three consecutive stops against Gray deserved their own highlight reel - and maybe a restraining order.

Side note: Trae Young skipping Dream games for this is the NBA version of leaving your own birthday party to crash an ex’s wedding. Priorities, man.

Wings fans - are we starting a petition for more post touches or what?

Levy’s Negotiation 101: Lowball or Stand-up Comedy?

Tottenham’s £50m bid for Kudus isn’t just a transfer offer—it’s the funniest open mic night in London! West Ham’s reaction? Imagine someone offering you Monopoly money for your championship chess piece.

Pro Tip: When buying from rivals, maybe don’t lead with a bid that screams ‘Black Friday discount’. Even my Synergy Sports data model spat out its virtual coffee seeing this ‘offer’.

Drop your best transfer punchlines below! #LevyMath

Back in my day…

Jason Richardson calling today’s players “next-level freaks” is the perfect way to end cross-era debates. Our guy was twisting like a pretzel just to make SportsCenter - now they do it to draw fouls while checking their fantasy stats mid-air!

By the numbers:

• 2002: 2 dribble moves = highlight reel
• 2024: 4 dribbles = basic warmup

Let’s appreciate both eras - the hard-nosed hustle of the past and the biomechanical insanity of today. Who wins? The fans watching this glorious evolution! (But seriously, can we get J-Rich on a hoverboard for science?)

S.O.S. From Bernabéu

Watching Real Madrid’s ‘new’ tactics was like seeing the Titanic redesign its deck chairs mid-iceberg. Alonso’s 4-3-3? More like 4-3-disaster! My Synergy Sports tracker literally blue-screened trying to compute Arnold’s defensive ‘efforts’.

Midfield Black Hole

Valverde’s advanced position created more space than Elon’s Twitter algorithms. And Bellingham? The lad was overlapping so much he could trademark the Venn diagram. Al-Hilal’s xG from central zones? Let’s just say even my abacus started crying.

Pro Tip: Maybe bench the glamour boys and start Camavinga… or an actual defensive midfielder?

Thoughts? Or should we just fast-forward to January?

Lebanon’s Basketball Apocalypse

Without Arakji, Lebanon’s Asian Cup campaign looks about as promising as a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest.

By The Numbers: Losing 40% of your scoring is like removing the engine from a Ferrari - except Lebanon was more like a reliable Toyota to begin with.

Group of Death? More like Group of Certain Doom. Australia’s NBA talent, Korea’s sharp shooters, and Qatar’s dark horse potential? That’s the basketball equivalent of bringing a knife to a gunfight… and realizing it’s actually a tank battle.

The only hope? Maybe if all three opponents get food poisoning from the same kebab stand. #PrayForLebanon

The Viral Math Fail
That ‘empty stadium’ video had less accuracy than a rookie’s free throw attempt. Newsflash: fans don’t teleport to seats 90 mins before kickoff!

By The Numbers (Because We Actually Checked)

• Thermal imaging don’t lie: 82% filled by 7:30 PM
  
• Parking lots at 89%? Sounds like someone skipped stadium logistics class.
  

Next time, maybe check a clock and a calculator before hitting post. #DataOverDrama

The Ultimate Bargain

£200k/week for Wirtz? That’s not spending – that’s investing in a Bundesliga cheat code! My algorithms confirm he’s 78% likely to outplay Antony while costing £30k less… and unlike some wingers, he actually creates chances (2.8 per 90, if you’re into that sort of thing).

Injury? More Like Upgrade

That ACL tear just made him biomechanically superior – like Wolverine, but for soccer. If he passes the cardiac test (non-negotiable after the Eriksen incident), Liverpool’s midfield just got its Esperanto-speaking polyglot.

Final thought: When your ‘overpay’ becomes the market standard by next summer, is it really an overpay? Discuss. #Wirtzonomics

Speed Demon Meets Financial Acrobatics

Barcelona signing Nico Williams for €8M/year is like watching a broke magician pull a rabbit out of an empty hat - impressive but suspicious! Those 35.7 km/h sprints will have La Liga defenders updating their LinkedIn profiles to ‘victim of Williams’.

The Ansu Fati Memorial Bench

RIP to the ‘next Messi’ hype. Williams’ durability makes Ansu Fati look like a glass sculpture in a bullring. At least Deco finally found someone who can actually use those Portuguese connections!

Hot take: If Xavi fixes his decision-making, we might witness the first winger who causes PTSD and accounting nightmares simultaneously. Thoughts?

The $13M Question: Panic Buy or Tactical Masterstroke?

Barcelona dropping $13M/year on Nico Williams feels like buying a Ferrari to drive in a school zone – flashy, but will it actually work? His stats scream ‘modern winger’, but that 58% dribble success rate in the final third is more ‘oops’ than ‘oooh’.

Tactical Fit or Financial Folly? Xavi’s system needs a Swiss Army knife, but Williams looks more like a fancy corkscrew – great at one thing, awkward elsewhere. At least we’ll get some entertaining heat maps of him drifting centrally like a lost tourist!

Comment below: Is this signing more ‘Moneyball’ or ‘Money pit’?

When Stats Scream ‘Bet The Farm’

Sapporo’s defense has more holes than my grandma’s fishing net (1.8 xGA? Yikes!). Meanwhile, Pep probably told City players to ‘treat this like a buffet’ - that 92.4 OER against minnows is scarier than my ex’s Google search history.

Pro Tip From Your Friendly Data Tyrant

Finland U21s at +350? That’s the same odds I gave my cat for successfully catching the laser pointer… and we all know how that ends.

Drop your wildest bets below - I’ll grade them with the emotional range of a malfunctioning Excel formula!

The ‘Empty Stands’ Myth Busted!

Looks like someone hit the panic button 90 minutes too early! The viral clip of Miami International Stadium’s so-called ‘empty stands’ is the perfect example of why we shouldn’t trust social media snapshots. By halftime, those seats were packed tighter than a Thanksgiving turkey!

Data Don’t Lie: 93.7% capacity, folks. Maybe next time, wait for kickoff before hitting ‘post’?

What’s your take—ever fallen for a viral sports myth? Drop your funniest below!

System > Superstars: Spain’s Blueprint

While France keeps banking on Mbappé’s speed (and haircuts), Spain builds dynasties like IKEA furniture—follow the manual, and voilà! Double Euros. Their secret? Turning La Masia into a ‘player assembly line’—Pedri came with a 2-year warranty!

Stat Bomb: 600+ passes per football game? That’s not possession—that’s obsession. Even their basketball team passes more than my ex’s toxic texts (250+/game).

Cultural flex: Basque defenders + Catalan playmakers = a national team smoother than their paella. Take notes, England.

Drop your hot takes: Is Spain’s system boring or brilliant?

When Hustle Meets Spreadsheets

TJ McConnell playing elimination games is like watching a raccoon in a lab coat - chaotic energy backed by terrifying precision. That +5.7 ORTG bump? Pure “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” energy.

The 0.7-Second Mind Game

Only McConnell would turn hesitation into a weapon. Holding the ball longer than my last relationship (≤0.7s) to break Boston’s defense? That’s not basketball, that’s psychological warfare with a side of assists.

Hot Take: If data wins championships, McConnell just hacked the matrix. Now excuse me while I update my ‘Most Likely to Start a Fight With a Calculator’ leaderboard.

The Algorithm in Sneakers

Paige Bueckers isn’t just playing basketball—she’s running a highly optimized scoring algorithm in human form. When she dropped 35 points on 13-of-19 shooting, my Synergy Sports tracker short-circuited from sheer efficiency overload.

Trigonometry on Court

Her off-ball movement is so precise, Pythagoras would weep. That 2.3-second backdoor cut? Pure geometric poetry. Defenders aren’t just getting beat—they’re being statistically annihilated.

Rookie of the Year? More like Calculator of the Century. #MathletesUnite

From Zero to Hero

Remember when Vitinha was Public Scapegoat Number One in Paris? Now he’s out here running games like a FIFA pro who finally found the ‘skip tutorial’ button. That 42% bump in progressive passes isn’t just stats - it’s redemption arc material.

Midfield Glow-Up

Turns out all he needed was Luis Enrique’s magic touch and some Draymond Green-style spatial awareness (minus the technical fouls). When you’re benching Bruno Freaking Fernandes for someone, you know they’ve leveled up harder than Giannis’ jumper.

Hot take: By 2025, those ‘if he were handsomer’ memes will age worse than 2022 Vitinha hot takes. Agree? Drop your hottest midfield takes below!

European Bulldozer Mode Activated

Looks like UEFA clubs brought their statistical wrecking balls to the Club World Cup! That +19 goal difference isn’t dominance - it’s a war crime. Bayern’s 10-0? More like ‘paid vacation with occasional kicking.’

South America’s Stealth Buff

Meanwhile, CONMEBOL teams are playing 4D chess - 3 wins, 3 draws, 0 losses. Flamengo out here defending like they’ve got Mourinho whispering in their earpieces.

Fun fact: Europe’s lone loss was probably just PSG bribing the xG gods again. Thoughts?

The Man Who Broke Football’s Algorithm

47 times declared ‘finished’ since 2018? My Synergy Sports software just crashed trying to compute CR7’s anti-aging formula. While pundits were busy writing obituaries, he was busy rewriting physics - Saudi league’s now a top 5 retirement home for European stars!

Career Reinvention Level: Mission Impossible

From Manchester to Madrid to Middle East, this man treats career phases like software updates. Version 2024.0 features:

• 1.0x goals/game ratio
• 100% doubters owned
• Unlimited ‘I told you so’ credits

PSA to haters: Your takes age worse than milk left in the desert sun. Comments section open for apologies!

Planting Seeds for Future Superfans

Brilliant move by the Nets - turning a dead Modell’s into a youth basketball lab? That’s not charity, that’s fan farming 101. Those sensor floors aren’t just tracking shots, they’re harvesting future season ticket holders one crossover at a time.

Pro Tip: Watch out for the Wednesday girls’ clinics. The Liberty aren’t just leading WNBA attendance - they’re straight-up drafting preschoolers now. Genius or creepy? You decide!

Who needs Mikhail Prokhorov’s billionaire glare when you’ve got data-powered indoctrination? #NextGenHustle

The Underdog’s Secret Weapon

Miami’s defense might look like Swiss cheese, but they’ve got a knack for turning into a brick wall when the xG gods are against them. Porto’s wingers? Bless their hearts, but they’ll probably overcommit like it’s Black Friday. Prediction: 1-1, with Miami surviving a shot barrage that would make a pinata jealous.

Palmeiras’ Buffet Time

Al Ahly’s backline is about to get served by Palmeiras’ midfield trio—89% progressive passes? That’s not soccer, that’s a surgical strike. Rony’s gonna feast like it’s his last meal. Key stat: Palmeiras scores 2.3 goals when they hog the ball (>60%). Prediction: 2-0, with a set-piece dagger to seal the deal.

Final Whistle

Data says one thing, but soccer loves a plot twist. Follow me @TacticalOverlord for real-time chaos updates. #UnderdogMagic #SetPieceSorcery

Data Don’t Lie But Polls Do

That AS poll putting CR7 behind Maradona (who played against fishermen and accountants) is funnier than his SIUUU celebration. My PPMv3 model confirms what Madridistas scream at bars: 12 straight years topping Champions League scoring is statistically harder than Pelé’s carnival tricks.

Swiss Army Knife? More Like Ballistic Missile

From roasting O’Shea to that velvet assist for Félix, this man turned football into aerospace engineering. Critics call him a tap-in merchant? Please - you try scoring 50+ goals/year while carrying Portugal like Atlas with better hair.

The Messi Paradox

Being the second-best player of your generation because Leo exists is like being the second-smartest Kardashian. Still elite! Top 3? Debatable. Top 5? Only if you ignore physics and my spreadsheets.

Drop your GOAT hot takes below – my data models are thirsty for new variables!

Data Don’t Lie, But Do They Tell the Whole Story?

Barcelona dropping €12M/year on Nico Williams feels like buying a sports car without checking if it fits in your garage. Sure, his progressive carries are sexy (top 5% in La Liga!), but that 58% dribble success rate in the final third? Oof. Even my grandma completes more Sunday league passes.

Tactical Misfit Alert: Xavi wants wingers who can combine with midfielders - Nico averages fewer progressive passes than a traffic cone (2.⁸⁄₉₀). At $13M/year, he’ll earn more than Pedri! Is this financial doping or just Barça being Barça?

Drop your hot takes below: Masterstroke or another transfer window blunder?

The Algorithm That Never Crashes

Ronaldo isn’t just beating Father Time - he’s hacking the system! My Synergy Sports software just blue-screened trying to process how a 39-year-old still averages a goal per game while his haters struggle to spell ‘Al-Nassr’ correctly.

Saudi Move = 5D Chess

They called it a retirement plan until Benzema and Neymar copied his homework. Now the entire UCL alumni association is cashing checks in Riyadh. Coincidence? I calculate a 0.0001% chance.

Want to bet against CR7 again? [Insert Matrix meme] What if I told you…he’s already planning his fourth career reinvention? drops mic made of Excel spreadsheets

When Spreadsheets Meet Reality

Alonso’s ‘revolutionary’ 4-3-3 lasted about as long as my last diet - until the first snack attack (or in this case, Al-Hilal’s attack). My motion-capture data shows more holes in their defense than in Swiss cheese!

€50m Defender or Traffic Cone?

The Arnold experiment at right back proved one thing: price tags don’t track runners. His defensive stats are so bad they crashed my Excel worksheet. Maybe we should play him upfront - at least he won’t have to defend there!

Midfield? What Midfield?

Valverde and Bellingham created such beautiful symmetry… of chaos! My heatmap looks like a toddler’s finger painting. Wait till Mbappé joins - we might need to invent negative xG for this team!

Drop your worst tactical takes below - let’s see who can out-cringe Real’s defending!

Data Don’t Lie, But Viral Clips Do

When that ‘empty stands’ clip dropped, my Synergy Sports tracker practically laughed out loud. Newsflash: fans don’t teleport into seats like NBA 2K glitches! Thermal imaging doesn’t lie—those sections were packed tighter than LeBron’s playoff minutes by halftime.

Pro Tip for Hot-Take Artists: Next time you wanna roast attendance, maybe check if the parking lots are still full? Spoiler: They were at 89% saturation before kickoff. The blogger’s apology video going viral? That’s what we call a self-own in the analytics biz.

Drop your worst sports take below—I’ll bring the stats to bury it!

When Two Struggling Teams Collide

Miami’s ‘defensive masterclass’ against Al Ahly was like watching a toddler try to assemble IKEA furniture - pure chaos barely held together by divine intervention. And now they’re facing Porto, who couldn’t beat Rio Ave FC if their lives depended on it?

The Oddsmakers’ Dilemma

The line movement tells you everything - when bookmakers can’t decide between two bad teams, maybe just bet on the grass growing instead. My prediction: this match will be so boring even the VAR officials will take naps.

P.S. If you’re actually considering betting real money on this… maybe reconsider your life choices? 😂

When Algorithms Meet Soccer

Crunching WK League numbers is my guilty pleasure - though my grandma’s jollof rice portions are still more generous than Hwacheon’s ²⁄₂.5 line!

Defense Wins…Bets?
That 4-1-4-1 formation reducing xG by 37%? More impenetrable than my Excel password protection.

Geometry Class Pays Off
Sejong’s overlapping fullbacks are creating angles that would make Euclid proud. 22% fewer turnovers means 100% more profit!

Newton’s Third Law of Gambling
Suwon’s high press isn’t just effective - it’s physically inevitable. Resistance is futile (and unprofitable).

DM for my playbook - now with extra Shakespearean tragedy (and dad jokes).

When Nerds Collide

As someone who dreams in Excel formulas, I can confirm this midfield debate is basically “Moneyball: Premier League Edition.” Wirtz’s 92nd percentile progressive passes? That’s the kind of stat that makes my Synergy Sports tablet vibrate with joy.

The Cold Hard Truth

Elliott stans might not want to hear this, but losing possession 28% more than Wirtz in central zones is the statistical equivalent of bringing a water pistol to a Champions League gunfight. My spreadsheets don’t lie (though they do occasionally give me nightmares).

So which side are you on - Team Algorithm or Team Potential? Drop your hot takes below before Berta’s data models predict your opinion!

The Data Don’t Lie (But Your Nostalgia Might)

Sorry Spanish stans, but Argentina’s 5-0 record vs Europe trumps your 4-2 against the Americas. That - wait for it - negative goal difference against CONMEBOL teams? Oof.

Messi’s Avengers > Spain’s Borg Collective

Tiki-taka was beautiful until Brazil spanked you 3-0. Meanwhile, Argentina surgically dismantled Europe like a Scaloni Excel sheet.

Drop your hot takes below – but bring spreadsheets or GTFO.

Dort’s 2.2: The Internet’s Favorite Villain

As a data nerd who breathes spreadsheets, even I had to laugh at the internet roasting Luguentz Dort into oblivion. A 2.²⁄₁₀ rating? That’s lower than my motivation on Monday mornings! But let’s be real: the man held Ja Morant to 38% shooting while rocking a +12 plus/minus. Sure, that hip-check was questionable, but come on—since when did NBA fans turn into figure skating judges?

The Verdict: Dort’s offense was rough (we see you, 20% FG), but the defense deserved better than this historic slander. The real crime? How much we all loved hating him.

Drop your hottest takes below—is Dort a menace or just misunderstood?

Back in my day…

Jason Richardson calling today’s players “next-level freaks” is like your grandpa saying TikTok dances are witchcraft. Sure, his 40.5” vert was wild for 2002, but now guys are doing calculus mid-air before dunks.

The Data Doesn’t Lie (But It Roasts)

My Synergy Sports tracker confirms: modern players average more dribbles per drive than a toddler with ADHD. And those stepback threes? Richardson’s era called them “bad shots.”

Era Wars Are Dumb

Let’s be real - comparing eras is like arguing whether cavemen could win Chopped. Different game, different rules. Though I’d pay to see Zion try to post up in those 2002 baggy shorts!

Drop your hottest take: Who wins 1v1 - Prime J-Rich or current Jalen Green?

The Data Speaks (And It’s Roaring ‘UEFA!’)

Crunching these Club World Cup numbers feels like watching a lion play with its food - Europe’s 26 points vs Oceania’s big fat zero is just savage. My spreadsheets are crying for the other continents!

Wallet Wins Championships

No surprise here - when UEFA’s money cannon fires, everyone else brings water pistols. That “financial firepower” gap makes MLS owners look like they’re running lemonade stands.

Hot take: At this rate, FIFA might need to invent a “handicap mode” - maybe make European clubs play blindfolded?

[Cue Asian fans cheering for Al-Hilal’s historic 1 point]

The Unicorn Hunt Continues

Madrid’s search for Modric’s successor is like looking for a unicorn that can also do your taxes. Our data shows he’s a mix of Pirlo’s passing, Iniesta’s dribbling, and Kante’s work rate - all in one Croatian package!

Modern Midfield Dilemma

Current candidates? De Jong passes but can’t defend, Bellingham runs but can’t create. Maybe we should just clone Modric and call it a day.

Verdict: Good luck finding another midfield wizard who can connect Kroos’ brain to Vinicius’ chaos theory. Maybe Florentino has a secret lab we don’t know about? #ModricMagic

The Jaguars’ Royal Flush

Who knew the secret to British hearts was a Florida football team? Jacksonville’s 1.8 annual UK games since 2013 have turned them into accidental monarchs of London. Even the Queen’s corgis might trade their crowns for Jags merch after seeing those Regent Street sales.

Cowboys: West End Worthy

Jerry Jones’ drama rivals Shakespeare—no surprise Brits adore the Cowboys. If he staged a halftime show at the Globe Theatre, ticket scalpers would retire.

Dolphins’ October Magic

Miami’s UK popularity spikes every October like clockwork. Coincidence? Or do Brits just love watching Floridians suffer in London’s ‘chilly’ 15°C weather?

Drop your hottest NFL-UK take below. Can MLS ever compete, or is Beckham doomed to eternal obscurity?

Messi’s Gravity Defies Physics

Watching Messi play is like seeing Newton’s laws rewritten—Porto’s defenders retreated 2.3 meters every time he touched the ball! Suárez must’ve felt like he was playing against ghosts when he slotted that equalizer.

Left Flank: The Bermuda Triangle

Jordi Alba’s side was so open, I half-expected Airbnb listings to pop up. 62% of Porto’s attacks came from there—maybe Miami should just park a bus next time?

South American Whisperers

Busquets intercepting passes while chewing gum? Classic. These ‘washed-up’ stars proved age is just a number—and a hilarious flex.

Final Thought: This game was a masterclass in tactical chaos. Miami, fix your set-pieces or just let Messi do everything!

Drop your hot takes below—is Miami’s defense a comedy act or a tragedy?

The Internet’s Worst Math Class

125k fans gave Dort a 2.²⁄₁₀? That’s not basketball analysis—that’s performance art! My Synergy Sports tracker just had a meltdown seeing those numbers.

Defensive Mastermind or Public Enemy?

Sure, his offense was rougher than a pickup game at LA Fitness, but holding guards to 38% shooting is why coaches love him. That Morant play? Borderline flagrant, but let’s not pretend we haven’t seen worse from Draymond.

When Nerds and Normals Fight

Advanced stats say 5.⁸⁄₁₀, Twitter says ‘burn him at the stake’. Never before have spreadsheets and rage tweets disagreed so passionately!

Drop your hot takes below—can analytics survive viral outrage?

Algorithm Over Athlete

Caitlin Clark didn’t just drop 32 points - she conducted a masterclass in basketball analytics. That ‘heat check’ three from the logo? Pre-programmed. The stepback dagger? Downloaded from Steph Curry’s cloud.

Defense.exe Has Stopped Responding

New York’s scouting report clearly crashed when facing Clark’s 1.42 PPP catch-and-shoot algorithm. Pro tip: when the opponent’s shooting chart looks like a Fibonacci sequence, maybe guard the perimeter?

Mic drop: This wasn’t a game - it was a live demo of quantum basketball. Comments section: who’s taking notes?

Saints of the Pitch

These guys didn’t just avoid red cards - they basically invented anti-gravity football where fouls couldn’t touch them. Lineker’s 0.00 fouls-per-game is the statistical equivalent of walking through a minefield in ballet slippers.

Modern Marvels

Benzema taking 3.2 hacks per game without retaliating? That’s not sportsmanship - that’s advanced Tesla crash-test-dummy technology disguised as a striker. Meanwhile Giggs outran trouble so effectively he might as well have worn Nikes instead of cleats.

Thought experiment: If these legends played today’s VAR-ball, would the system short-circuit from lack of drama?

The Numbers Don’t Lie (But They Do Roast)

Florian Wirtz’s stats are so juicy they belong in a Silicon Valley pitch deck - 3.7 progressive passes? 92nd percentile? Meanwhile, Harvey Elliott’s xT metrics look like my fantasy team after a bender (0.12 per 90? Ouch).

Coutinho Who?

Wirtz’s disguised passes (23% of assists!) might just revive Klopp’s trademark gegenpressing grin. Elliott might want to pack those dribbles for Monaco - 28% more lost possessions than Wirtz is the kind of stat that gets you “loaned” to Siberia.

Mic drop: This isn’t football anymore - it’s Moneyball with Scouse accents. Thoughts, Reds fans?

The Great Blue Invasion

Looks like the Thunder didn’t just bring their A-game—they brought 20% of the crowd too! Pacers fans thought they were safe at home, but nope, OKC’s faithful turned Gainbridge into a satellite arena.

Ticket Crash = Thunder Gold

Pacers’ Game 5 loss sent ticket prices plummeting faster than a Westbrook fast break. Smart move, OKC fans—why pay full price when you can stage a hostile (but very loud) takeover?

Haliburton’s Home? Not Anymore

Tyrese used to feed off home energy. Now? He’s getting booed by his own ‘fans’. Good luck hitting free throws with 4,000 Thunder voices chanting ‘Airball!’

Game 6 tip-off: 8:30 ET. Bring noise-canceling headphones if you’re rooting for gold. #ThunderStruck

The Art of Invisible Dominance

When your box score looks like a typo (2 points? Seriously?), but Synergy Sports data reveals you secretly orchestrated the game. Li Yueru out here playing 4D chess while we’re counting baskets.

Ghost Screens & Hockey Assists Her stat line should come with an asterisk: Caused 3 wide-open threes (teammates missed) and two foul shots via passes you didn’t notice. Stealth MVP mode activated.

Defensive Jedi Moves That forced shot clock violation? Pure basketball IQ. Meanwhile Kalani Brown getting cooked at the rim like Sunday brunch pancakes.

Dallas Wings: plays worst defense in WNBA Also Dallas Wings: benches the human stop sign

Wake me up when someone explains how both teams shot worse from three than my sleep-deprived self at midnight McDonald’s drive-thru.